Posts Tagged ‘burned out’

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wtf, life?

May 23, 2010

Okay, so recent mistakes have led me to this somewhat desperate attempt to determine what I’m doing wrong and how to fix it.

Here’s the issue:

School got overwhelming and burned me out the last 3 semesters (it was all a downward spiral since study abroad – how can you come back from that kind of experience!?). Every day, I’d come back to my room and stare at all of the clutter in my room and want to take a torch to it all, or maybe get someone to come in, bag it up, and carry it out Santa Claus style. I figured, once I got home I’d have all the time in the world to figure out what to do with it all, that I could sell it on ebay or in a yard sale or whatnot.  **problem #1: the parents won’t let me have a yard sale on account of they don’t want anyone “casin’ the joint” (paranoid freaks)

So I get home, unload my junk into my room so that I can’t see the floor and then try to establish an organizing/selling game plan. This is very obviously **problem #2: how can I figure out where to start when I can’t even distinguish where one thing ends and another starts!?

Add to all of that the fact that I’m peacing out June 1st, much earlier than planned, and as the “deadline” approaches, my anxiety has kicked up several notches each day.  Now, I know this may seem to be a bit of a trivial problem, but if you’ve read any of my earlier blog posts, you’ll know that I consider the state of my living quarters to have a large impact on the state of my life. In other words, for me, messy room=messy life.

That’s really the number one issue here, I have a lot of loose ends that I need to tie up before I can head off to the unknown, and not just cleaning up the physical mess.

But first, I need to take care of some of my more basic needs:

1) Get up before the sun is high in the sky.

My main problem with this is, believe it or not, not the waking up part, but the trying to figure out what I’m supposed to do right after getting out of bed. In other words, I sit up, look around, can’t think of what it is I’m supposed to do in the morning, and then remember how cuddly my pillow was and just lie back down. So I am now establishing that I shall shower in the mornings (I’m normally a night-shower-er) followed directly by getting dressed and then breakfast. 9am, that is my established get up time.

2) Make lists

I need to follow my own advice and start making more lists! And to actually complete the items I put on my lists! I think one way for lists to be successful is to have one, over-arching list, with also a day-to-day list that has only the things you can accomplish that day on it. And I think it’s best to underestimate, that way when you get through the list and get started on the next day’s list, you can feel like you’re ahead of yourself.

3) Stay active and eat healthy

I must admit, my laziness and slight stint of depression (I hesitate to really call it that as it’s more of an after-school confusion than anything) have also affected my health. I haven’t been eating well (mostly because I’ve been too lazy to make any food for myself so I’ve been surviving on left overs) and I haven’t been staying active. So this week, I plan to actually have 3 meals a day and get some physical exercise (even if it’s not treadmill style) every day. I even went to the store and got some chocolate milk!

Here’s one blogger’s way to make new habits stick!

What I’m listening to: Black Tambourine – Beck

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